GET READY TUMBLR, MY SKETCHES ARE ABOUT TO BE BACK IN THE GAME.
I wonder, Nate, If you will ever read this.
I just want you to know how much it means to me that you took care of me when you got off of work this past week after I had my wisdom teeth removed. You rubbed my back when I was puking, you held me up when I started to faint, made me food and many other things….
You came home with a new computer for me today too. Its an older model, but its beautiful. I’m only working part time and have had trouble with getting commissions right now. I just put my application in to go back to school but you are so damn unconditionally supportive of me in every way that I dont know what to do to even begin repaying you. I know I dont HAVE to, but I love you and it would mean the absolute world to me to take care of you always.
You are snoring loudly on the sofa right now, its totally adorable. I’m feeling selfish because I want you to be in the bed next to me. But I will leave you there so you can rest. You need it.
You deserve so much. Since the first day you captivated me in curiosity to the day you said you loved me to now - the way I feel about you is nothing short of absolute confidence. I have and will always love you and only you.
I told you before, my soul has loved yours for thousands of years. I can feel a love that deep with you. Through this life time and the next I am yours and yours alone.
I love you.
I had my first experience with it.
I was already asleep, it woke me up. I know I wasn’t asleep. I am an experienced and frequent lucid dreamer, I can tell the difference between a dream and a dream-like reality. This was different and totally terrifying. I was awoken from my dream by a pressure on my bed. I was laying on my back and felt the mattress concave in to my left. I could not open my eyes, my arms were resting on my chest and stomach and I could not move them or my legs at all no matter how hard I tried. I felt the presence. It felt …. evil but not sinister.. if that makes sense. It leaned over me I felt it rest an arm above my head on my pillow and it lowered its self to my ear and spoke. I couldnt understand the language, it was a low male whispering voice. It sounded like two sentences and I felt its breath on my ear… Then suddenly it was gone. The pressure on my bed and pillow, my arms flew up due to my struggling hard against the paralysis and I was breathing hard. I don’t know if I was crying or not, my eyes were tearing up though. My fear disappeared with it, I was more curious that afraid at that point.
What the actual hell. I dont know what to believe though. I have read the scientific theories and as much as I want to believe this is all in my head, I cant say it is.
What do you guys think?
Mostly with life in general.
Im out of a job again and this time I’ve got even more bills to deal with. My boyfriend has offered to help me, and I really dont think he understands exactly how much that means to me. A freaking lot. No one has ever, ever offered to be there like that for me. But because of my parents and all the battles I watched them go through in my life I am terrified to even think of letting him help me until I get my next good job… Guess Im just going to have to dive into that one :|
Next bone: Skinny life.
I am 5’6” and 115lbs. I am fucking skinny. I can see my collar bone, my hip bones and on occasion my ribs and spine. I’ve never thought anything of this because this is how I have been all of my life. Just is. Dont know what to tell you. I am tired of people telling me I need to gain weight. Or that I look unhealthy. Or that seeing my bones is a turn off.
Impressing the world will never be my intention. If I gain in the future fine, if I dont, FINE. Let people live, dont project your own issues on to them. Because I am going to start being vocal about it and Im sure its going to burn a few of my bridges.
It is now day seven of my hunt for a shiny Zubat. I don’t know if it is going to be possible to keep this going… I have come across four useless shiny Whismurs in the process.
Why do you continue to evade me?!?
…. I wont give up. I’ve come so far… you will be mine…. Crobat….